


E Q U A L S

by the_little_ginger_potato



Category: Black Mirror (TV), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, Depression, Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), F/M, First Kiss, Grief/Mourning, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Melancholy, Minor Character Death, Other, Sad, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:05:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_little_ginger_potato/pseuds/the_little_ginger_potato
Summary: Please check out the tags before you'd read the fanfic.I'm thankful for all my readers, for the comments and kudos. But no hate or shaming will be tolerated! I write fanfics as a hobby for free, so negative/hateful comments will be deleted immediately. English is not my first language, but I do my best to avoid making errors.Thank you for reading my work ♥AESTHETIC:https://66.media.tumblr.com/44dcd8f5ca1a48acbb9b09b6826195a8/bd54b1a1724794c6-07/s540x810/57640031f4b70c1e98e2cff742a19d68a7ccc046.jpgPLAYLIST:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7JVA598VNHpSJfkT0RJflR?si=AAUyN4aaTTuzfaMo6JMNlA





	E Q U A L S

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out the tags before you'd read the fanfic.
> 
> I'm thankful for all my readers, for the comments and kudos. But no hate or shaming will be tolerated! I write fanfics as a hobby for free, so negative/hateful comments will be deleted immediately. English is not my first language, but I do my best to avoid making errors.  
> Thank you for reading my work ♥  
> AESTHETIC:  
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/44dcd8f5ca1a48acbb9b09b6826195a8/bd54b1a1724794c6-07/s540x810/57640031f4b70c1e98e2cff742a19d68a7ccc046.jpg  
> PLAYLIST:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7JVA598VNHpSJfkT0RJflR?si=AAUyN4aaTTuzfaMo6JMNlA

As you’ve had your head pressed against the bus’ window, your eyes ran onto the huge poster ‘Get Yours Today’ with few android models on it. Your breath made the glass steamed up in a blurry circle shape. You ran your fingertips along the surface to reveal the raindrops on its outer surface. You closed your eyes down and with a deep inhale you’ve held back your tears. Once you’ve opened your eyes you tilted your head to look at the back of the bus, where THEY were standing straight, looking forward ahead of them. None of them looked down at you, but you’ve stirred awake from your intense staring as the bus stopped where you had to get off. With the bus gone, you froze down for a few seconds as your eyes were fixed on the android front of your house. Unlike the androids on the bus, as if It would have felt your presence has turned its head away to look at you. The moment was pretty awkward, the both of you standing in the pouring rain, looking at each other. You took some cautious steps before it was slowly transforming into normal ones. 

“…Hi..” Your voice was shaky once you’ve approached it, and held your hand out. When he’s touched your hand you quietly gasped from how realistic the artificial skin felt on him. While he introduced himself as RX900 model, and other basic details, you’ve been holding your eyes on his face. His green pair of eyes, his lips, the light ginger locks, everything was so realistic, except for the blue lightning circle on the right side of his temple. “I’m…I’m so sorry that you had to wait here, outside in the rain…let’s go inside my apartment.” You were searching for your keys nervously in your beg till it ended up dropping down on the pavement. As he’s crouched down with you but picked it up faster, you held your eyes on him for a few seconds.

“The RX900 bears the rain, even swimming or scuba diving is possible too.” You definitely didn’t like him implying to himself as RX900, but eventually you took the keys out of his hand. 

“Thank you…”

You noticed the way he was observing the flat’s interior, the cracked walls, the dirty banister, the smashed cockroaches on the floor till you arrived to your apartment. It clearly didn’t look like a place which would have led someone to an assumption that its inhabitant could afford to buy an android. But for now you didn’t say anything, as the android remained silent as well. Once you unlocked the door of your apartment and entered you smiled a little as the android was already dry, unlike you with your soaked hair and clothes. 

“I’ll be right back. I just change.” You glanced back once more at him as he was standing in the middle of the living room. You quickly rubbed your hair with a towel before you put on a t-shirt and another pair of jeans. As you returned and saw him standing on the exact same spot you felt slightly uncomfortable. “You could have sat down…I know the sofa is old and torn but it isn’t that bad.” You were both surprised and happy as it made him to smile. However your smile disappeared way faster than his, even though it was already a big step as you didn’t smile for a long time. When you sat down on the couch you held your eyes on him in hopes that he’d do the same. 

“Would you like me to clean up the rooms? Or take care of the shopping?”

“No. Just sit down next to me. Please.” You held your eyes on his lanky figure as he’s stepped up to the sofa then sat down next to you with perfectly straight back. “Can I…can I lean to you?” However you didn’t even wait for his answer as you’ve already cuddled up to him and broke out into tears. 

“Please don’t cry.” His voice sounded soft and gentle, but your sobbing only became louder and more intense. As you were holding onto him you felt comfort for the first time after what has happened. None of your other relatives could reach that. His arms soon wrapped around you but even so, you ended up crying for long minutes. 

“My mother died. Two weeks ago…” You sniffled as you were still snuggled up to him.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“In the end she had so many illnesses I even lost counting….probably it was the best for her this way. The kind of pain she had was bad to just see her suffer…I can’t even imagine what it was like for her…would you hold onto me tighter?” You held your eyes on his emerald eyes while his arms made you feel a bit warmer and calmer inside. “I want to name you…but nothing really comes to my mind. It’s hard to think with the grief.”

“I’m really sorry, but yes, I have to say you’re right. If you’d want me to, I can make an algorithm from all the male names in the world and pick one.”

“No…I…” You wiped your tears away with your hand as you held your eyes on him. “Can’t you…can’t you pick one what you like the best?”

“I wasn’t programmed for such, I’m sorry.”

“Would you…would you at least try? For me?” You held your tearful eyes on him but smiled a little as he’s hesitantly nodded. 

“How should I do it?”

“Just…close your eyes down…see all the names front of you, pronounce them in your head, and you’ll just feel which one is the closest to you…Remember when you picked the keys up for me? I didn’t order you to pick it up, and even if helping others was programmed into you, it was a feeling that you realized you should help me….” You had no idea whether what you said was correct or not but as the android closed his eyes down, you hoped it might work. You could see from his facial features that he was concentrating hard enough, then with a surprised quiet voice the name has left his lips. 

“Ash.” You had no idea how uncommon it was. Whether an android was capable of such, but no matter what was the answer for that. Ash was already unique in your eyes. 

“I like that name.” You wiped your damp cheek with your hand before you rested your head back onto his chest and asked him to hug you. “Ash.”

“Yes?”

“I’m really happy that you’re here with me. Thank you.” You closed your eyes down once he gently put his hand onto the back of your hand and began to fondle it.

The main concept of keeping androids was to have them serve you, but that wasn’t why you bought the RX900 model. You felt like with the death of your mother you’ve ended up losing everyone from around you. Your father died years ago, and your grandparents passed away when you were younger. Everyone was way too occupied to look at their phones so friendship was something rare. You couldn’t have afforded to have an android, but from the money you’ve inherited from your mother was just enough to order it. You were living in a poor district, among bad conditions, and working on constructions were getting more and more tiring with every single day. As you held your eyes on Ash just sitting still on the sofa looking blankly front of himself, you wondered whether this was the kind of life he wanted? Unless he was a deviant he couldn’t have self-awareness, but the way you looked at the moral questions of androids among human were way different than what most of the people viewed. 

"Ash.” Your head was leaned against the door-frame of your bedroom. The way he turned his head towards you consisted of way too organized movements which made it rather inhuman, but you didn’t find it unsettling at all. “I just wanted to tell you, that you can do anything what you’d like when I’m not around…you can use my laptop, watch anything you’d like. Or I have some books too, I don’t know whether you’re fond of the kind of books I have but they’re in my room, on the shelf. I also have a couple of papers and pencils on the table over there. I can’t say I draw too well, but I’m sure you’d outdo me….I—I just don’t want you to sit and stare at the wall and wait for orders.”

“I’m sorry if I upset you….but all those are really kind of you. Thank you.” You hesitated a little then held onto your doorknob. 

“You didn’t upset me…I wish there would be more things but as you can see I’m rather short on money. I…I will make some dinner now. You can’t eat, can you?” Once Ash shook his head you’ve let go off the doorknob and walked over to the kitchen. You sliced a piece of bread and watched as he’s entered your room. A small smile appeared on your face as he’s returned back with your favourite book then once he’s sat down he began to read it. 

You picked the photo frame up from your bedside table, however you shivered as in the corner of your eye you spotted Ash standing still behind you. 

“I’m sorry. Did I startle you?”

“No…I’m fine..you can come here..” You waited till he stepped up to you then you’ve handled the picture to him, letting him to hold it in his hands. 

“Is she your mum?”

“Yes..it’s a horrible picture of me but she looks nice. That was a nice day…we had fun. My dad took the photo of us.” 

“You don’t look horrible. But you’re right, she does look happy, but so are you.”

“Yes. I was happy back then.” You gently took it out of his hand then put it back down on the table. “I’m going out to buy some food. Would you come with me?”

“Of course.”

Once the bus arrived you frowned as Ash walked to the back of the bus and you quickly held onto his hand. 

“No…come and sit with me please.”

“I—I can’t. Androids should travel only on the back. That’s the law.”

“Ash, please.” You saw the way he was hesitating but eventually he allowed you to pull him along with you and get up on the bus. As you were sitting next to him after a few stops a conductor walked up to you.

“Miss, I’m sorry but your android should travel on the back.”

“But he is with me! What difference does it make that he’s sitting here? Does he smell or is he in the way?” You noticed how some of the androids in the back snapped out of their blank staring and cast their eyes at you. “What kind of a sick discrimination is this?!” You didn’t let Ash to interfere, you were fed up, and it was just a tiny part of the whole issue which existed. 

“Miss I have to ask you to get off the vehicle along with your android, otherwise I have to alert the authorities.” 

You didn’t say anything, just held onto Ash’s hand as you’ve gotten off on the next stop. 

“Why are they treating you like this? Why can’t you just sit on the same place as me?” You sniffled but as soon as you snuggled to Ash, he wrapped his arms around you comfortingly. You didn’t give a damn about the looks or murmuring of some people. You were glad that Ash was capable of comforting you. On the way back you rather decided to walk on foot than to take the bus. You felt sick when you had to think of that Ash would have to just stand straight in the back while he’d see how all other humans can sit on the bus. 

“He wouldn’t even have known you’re an android if it weren’t for your outfit and that device on your temple…would it bother you to wear something else?”

“You’re short on money, I don’t think buying clothes for me would be part of your priorities.”

“Fuck the priorities….I’m sorry…but I really would like to. That’s what I want…is that what you would want to?”

“I—I don’t have free will, it wasn’t programmed into me.”

“But—it’d not make you upset if you’d wear ordinary clothes instead of this outfit you’ve gotten at the factory?”

“Why would I be upset? I’m only confused.”

“Confused of what?”

“You shouldn’t care so much about me…I’m merely here to serve you.”

“Do not say that! Ever again! You will never be an android who’s used for anything…I’m not like that…I just don’t want you to obey me, like I’d be your administrator.” You regretted snapping at him like that but you were worked up.

“But I can’t do otherwise…I have to follow orders….did I say something wrong?” You sniffled as some tears ran down on your face but you breathed up gratefully as just like a reflex he hugged you to himself. 

"You're not a machine to me…you’re better than that…I won’t ever call you that. You’re Ash to me…my …my friend.” You whimpered as more tears ran down on your face and you’ve buried it against his chest. Even if he was an android he smelt something like marshmallow and just sniffing it in warmed your chest.

You smiled as he’s slowly walked out from the bathroom in the grey skin tight jeans, red sneakers and black hoodie with a Motorhead shirt. 

“Oh my…God, you look really good.”

“Thank you. I think…I think I like it too. It definitely looks better than my previous outfit. Looking into the archives I looked like some butcher or male nurse in that.” You chuckled a little and smiled as he did the same. You didn’t mind whether he was copying you or did he actually find it funny too. 

“From now on…you just have to pull on the hoodie and no one will see…”

“….what I am.”

“Yes…not as if you’d have to hide it…but most of humanity is wrong.” You whispered as you’ve rubbed your arm, your eyes being cast down. “Ash.”

“Yes?” 

“Can you dream?”

“I can simulate it, but it isn’t like the way you dream.”

“I have nightmares…especially since my mum died…could I ask one thing from you?”

“Anything.”

“Would you stay with me? For the night? I can bring in a mattress and I’ll sleep on that, so you could have my bed…”

“I will stay with you…but I can’t accept you doing that. Even if I’d stand still till you’re sleeping it’d not tire me or cause me any pain.”

“Then at least accept the mattress…please.”

“Alright. Do you think my presence would chase the nightmares away?” His kind smile really warmed your heart. Since he’s became part of your life, you’ve been feeling like everything was becoming different and better. 

“I hope so.” You smiled back but gasped as from a harder wave of wind your window broke in. “Oh no…” It had cracks for a long time but you couldn’t afford buying a new one. “Ash no!” You gently held onto him as he was about to bend down for the pieces. “You can hurt yourself…” You held your eyes on his as he’s looked back at you with a rather confused look.

“I can’t hurt myself…unlike you.”

“Well…I—I’ll just swipe it up then and that way neither of us can.”

“I can heal myself. I mean the skin texture, it’d be good as new. I’m not as fragile as you think I am. You’re way more fragile than me. I should be the one looking out for you.”

“Is that something you were programmed to do…or do you care for me?” You whispered as you’ve gently let go of his arm, in hopes that your question wasn’t offensive.

“I don’t know why but I can’t process that question. I know what it means, but if I’d answer I’d tell a lie but the other option seems to be blocked in my system. I’m sorry.”

Once you sat down on the bus you waved at Ash who was standing in the window. You already missed him. Was it wrong? Was it sick? Were you supposed to act like everyone else? To treat him like a machine and order him to do things? 

{text}  
What are you doing? 

{text}  
Waiting for you to come back…I guess. – Ash

{text}  
: )  
You know I told you, you can do anything you want in the house. Why don’t you draw something for me? If you want to.

{text}  
: )  
What do you want me to draw? – Ash

{text}  
Anything. I let you decide.

{text}  
Alright. Are you still on the bus? - Ash

{text}  
Yes. I wish you’d be with me.

{text}  
I can go to your workplace, if you want me to. - Ash

{text}  
No. You couldn’t do anything, it’s boring, even for me. But I’ll be home in the early evening.

{text}  
Okay. -Ash

{text}  
Ash?

{text}  
Yes? -Ash

{text}  
I miss you.

You sighed as no answer came, but eventually you slipped your phone back into your overall once you’ve got off from the bus and walked over to the vast territory with the constructions.  
As you were holding onto the earth auger you watched how the androids were working, it was true that they were more effective and faster workers, but it wasn’t their fault that they were working like that. They didn’t ask to be created. The rising unemployment of the humans weren’t their fault, they just did what they were programmed to do. You hated all those demonstrators who attacked or hurt them, when they should have been protesting front of the factory and its leaders, not the androids who were faultless. You wiped the sweat drops off your forehead with the sleeve of your overall, but you knew you couldn’t hold a break, that was the deal. Your boss only employed human workers who could do their shift without any break, excluding lunch break too. 

At the end of the day you rushed to take the bottle of water out of your backpack. You drank up the whole bottle before you’ve walked over to the bus stop and sat down tiredly.  
You had your key with you but instead you knocked on the door and smiled up as Ash soon opened it. You hugged him right away, inhaling in his scent and snuggling to him more. 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t answer your text. I felt that same blocking feeling keeping me back from replying.”

“You never have to apologize from me…” You said quietly as you were still holding onto him however his answer surprised you and made you to think a little. 

“I drew something for you. Like you asked. Do you want to see it?”

“Of course.” 

He could have drawn literally anything, either something from his surroundings or from the internet but you were speechless for a while as the drawing was a portrait of you. You smiled up at him as he’s been visibly waiting for a reaction. 

“How is it?”

“It’s perfect…Thank you, Ash.” You hugged him to yourself then as you pulled yourself away from him you pressed a small kiss onto his cheek. He blinked with a confused look at you as your faces were inches away from each other. “I---I’m sorry Ash…I probably shouldn’t have done that.” You rushed into the bathroom and once you closed the door you slipped down on the floor. You hugged your legs to yourself as you broke out into tears, you tried your best to muffle it but occasionally you couldn’t. 

“Are you crying?”

“I….yes I am..I’m sorry.” You buried your face into your knees as your body shivered.

“Come out.”

“Why?” You sobbed as you held tighter onto your legs.

“So I can hug you.” Without any hesitation you pushed yourself up from the floor and quickly opened the door. You sniffled as he’s hugged you tight to himself and stroked your back. “It’s okay, what you did earlier on. I was a bit frozen down by it I guess…I read several articles of how humans broke or hurt their androids, but I can’t recall reading about a human like you.”

“Do you like the way I’m treating you? Do you think I’m doing it right?” You asked on your veiled voice as you’ve cast your tearful eyes at him.

“On a level of staying realistic, I think you’re overprotective and care way too much about me, when I’m only wires on the inside…but a part of me…if such is even possible..is…happy with you…. I guess.” 

\-----------------

There was a dim light in the room, provided by the night lamp on your bedside table, which projected stars and the moon onto the walls. You’ve been holding your eyes on the raindrops hitting against your window’s glass. It made you worried and you hoped that the living room won’t be flooded by the morning due to the broken window. The nearby railway above your flat trembled as the last subway has left the station, you were deep in your thoughts about several things which didn’t let you sleep.

“Aren’t you ready to sleep?” Ash’s voice has snapped you out of the train of thoughts and you’ve cast your eyes down on him.

“No---it takes me quite a while to fall asleep.”

“There’s a point on your feet, if you press it hard for a while it makes it easier to fall asleep.” 

You’ve smiled about the information but you’ve shook your head lightly. “I just have too many things on my mind…” You’ve held your eyes on him as he was lying on his side on the mattress. He looked so real. Of course, he was real, but to you he was more of a human than any real human beings around you. You’ve slowly slipped your hand down from the bed and smiled widely as he’s carefully held onto it. 

“If you want, I can sing you a song. Lullabies help people to sleep.”

“That’d really help.” 

You’ve cast your eyes one more time onto his pure face before you’ve closed them down. His voice sounded angelic and calming, he managed to drag your mind away from all the dark thoughts and problems. His hand on yours filled you with warmness and as he continued singing you’ve eventually fallen asleep. 

\-----------------

You’ve been pushing a wheelbarrow when you heard the sudden nearby shouting. Usually the androids were unaffected and continued working in such cases, but now they all turned their head towards the street where the bus was standing and it still hasn’t moved. The construction supervisor has yelled at all of you to get back to work. You began to push the wheelbarrow on but for some incomprehensible reason you felt like you shouldn’t look away. The oncoming siren voice made you even more unease, and when an officer shoved an android out of the bus you’ve let go off everything and began to run as fast as you could to get there before the police car would. “Ash! Ash! Leave him alone!” As the police officer held his gun out at you you’ve slowed down but you barely could stop yourself as the officer was holding onto Ash so roughly. 

“Is this your android?”

“….yes.” You hated the question but what else could you answer? However as you’ve seen the furrowed brows of Ash you’ve changed your mind. “He lives with me.” The officer didn’t seem to bother about your correction and kept holding tight onto Ash. “What happened?”

“It was travelling on the front, and when I ordered it to move to the back, it said: ‘Why would he? He has the same rights as any other human.’.” Your heart began to beat fast. One reason was because you were excited and happy that he finally saw himself more than just wires, but on the other hand you were scared and panicked about what will they do to him. 

“----let me just walk him home then. There’s no need for violence.” You’ve said and stepped closer as the police car arrived.

“Haven’t you heard about deviancy? They have to fix it, ma’am. Not to mention that it wears ordinary human clothing.” 

“I---it’s stupid! He’s not a deviant. He only came here because I asked him to, and I gave him the clothes because his basic outfit is in the laundry.” None of it were the truth but you had to try everything. “You can’t just take him away from me. I---I have the right to go with him to the station.” The officer left your words without a comment but you’ve breathed up as he’s eventually nodded. You’ve frowned as the man has torn Ash’s beanie off which revealed his flickering orange led on his temple. “It’ll be alright..” You’ve whispered while you were struggling to hold the tears back.

\-----------------

On the way to the station you’ve been holding onto his hand and you were stroking it gently to calm him down. You were hoping that the only punishment would be some fine, even though you were short on money you’d have paid it somehow. As you were holding tightly onto his hand in the hall you’ve noticed how an android has looked at the two of you, and gave a weird expression once he’s noticed your entwined fingers with Ash. He had his own table, an android police officer…you wouldn’t have thought, however instead of a compassionate look he’s been watching the two of you rather confused and judgingly. 

“I’m sorry---I just wanted to see you.” 

“Please don’t blame yourself.” You’ve whispered into Ash’s ear.

“But it’s my fault…I don’t know what I was thinking but it just ran out of my mouth…as if….I don’t know…I’m not sure anymore.” You’ve shivered as he’s gently rested his forehead against your temple. You’ve glanced nervously at the android by the table who’s crossed his eyebrows so you’ve slowly shifted a bit farther from Ash. “I’ll get you out of here. You didn’t commit a crime, there’s nothing wrong with what you did. They’re just all a bunch of idiots. I will not let them harm you…they can’t take you away from me. You understand?” You’ve stroked his hand as he’s nodded and kept his green pair of eyes on you. 

\----------------

The news shocked you, you’ve burst out and snapped at the officers when they said Ash will be transferred to CyberLife and they’ll ‘fix’ him. But your protest was all in vain. You only managed to beg so you could accompany him. You’ve frowned at the same android by the table who’s handcuffed Ash but you’ve followed them along to the car. The time in the elevator seemed infinite, you were gently holding onto some of Ash’s fingers behind his back. The heavy wind outside made you to tremble from the cold air after the rainy night. 

“What are we now? A delivery company? CyberLife is rich enough to gather their androids for fuck’s sake.” The grumpy older male who opened his car snapped you out of the current situation and you’ve cast your eyes on him. “Well get them in Connor, my ass is freezing out here.” 

Once you’ve sat at the back of the car you’ve cast your eyes on the two. Interesting pairing but your attention was disturbed as Ash has nudged your arm with his. 

“Last night. After I sang to you…I had a dream…a real dream…” You’ve turned to Ash and looked at him surprised and with a little disbelief it seemed as if his eyes were teary. “You were in it…we were walking on a meadow…around us were pines and high mountains…we were walking hand in hand…then we reached to a house…it was nothing like yours…it was beautiful…the one you’d deserve…it had glass walls and we were standing in there…”

“It’s beautiful…” Your tears were streaming down your face. “And what happened then?” You’ve gasped as he’s leaned in and kiss you on the lips. You’ve slipped your hand along his cheek and returned the kiss, gently rubbing your tongue against his. As you’ve looked into his eyes you’ve gently wiped a teardrop off his cheek. “You’re crying…” You’ve kissed him once more and quietly sobbed against his lips. “I don’t want them to erase your memories…they can’t do that.” You’ve hugged him tightly to yourself, then has let go of him with bit of a startle as the car took a sharp right turn and has stopped out of a sudden. 

“Turn to your right.” The older officer has spoken to Ash and you’ve held your eyes confused on him but has smiled up in tears as he’s took the handcuff off Ash. “And now go.”

“But Lieutenant!”

“They’re my responsibility Connor…so stay out of this!” Connor has furrowed his brows but remained still.

“Go! The both of you!”

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” You’ve said before you’ve held onto Ash’s hand and quickly got out of the vehicle which has drove on right away. You’ve cried more out of happiness as he’s wrapped his arms around you and kissed you deeply. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too….I won’t let anyone to hurt you.” You’ve cupped his cheek and kissed him more.

\----------------

You’ve entwined your finger with his as you were standing front of the sign ‘Welcome to Canada’. As you’ve said it out loud with him, it has sounded like a promise for a better place. Maybe you’d live in a house, like the one Ash has talked about, what he’s seen in his dream. You were leaving your home behind. But one day when androids would get equal rights, wouldn’t be slaves anymore and would be acknowledged as people then you might return. Till then in the hope for a better home and freedom you’ve started your life in Canada with Ash, not as a human and an android, but as an equal couple who loved each other truly, without any doubt.


End file.
